There can be No Doubt (¿the band?) that MISTER Rivers Cuomo is my (current) favorite Tweetologist, and you should flog yourself if you are not yet following him. After the jump, some of my favorites of his of late.
[pullquote quote="You don't exist." credit="MISTER @RiversCuomo"]
11/28 – ‘You don’t exist.’ / ‘Urine: the bane of my existence.’
11/25 – ‘When the elder Texan I was writing with forgot the idea he had just come up with, he shrugged and said, “It’s like farting in a Tornado.”‘
11/23 – ‘My motives are pure-ish.’
11/21 – ‘If you each gave me a penny every day I would make $648,043 a year.’
11/20 – ‘I gotta piss like a race elephant.’
11/15 – ‘Stop ignoring me.’
11/14 – ‘A poorly constructed dilemma: if u had 2 choose between eating yr fav flavor ice cream or worm ridden horse diarrhea, which would u choose?’
11/12 – ‘”The first question an artist should ask himself when he can’t get an audience is ‘What am I hiding?’”‘ / ‘Wish I could confirm this. RT@MorrisseysQuiff sometimes i think i am the secret lovechild of kate bush and @riverscuomo. it makes sense.’
11/11 – ‘Some people are just so yummy.’
11/8 – ‘You probably think my tweets are directed at you but they’re not.’
11/7 – ‘What is electricity?’ / ‘Mind if I hump you?’
11/6 – (THIS ONE IS VERY TRUE. – Sluggo): ‘Veggie burger technology has come a long way.’
11/5 – ‘My molecules will flit back and forth in this Los Angeles basin for some time, and then disperse.’ / ‘Oh yes I am! RT: @L(EDITED)r @RiversCuomo you ain’t THAT cool, mister.’ / ‘I’d click that.’
11/3 – ‘Bah, Humvee.’
11/1 – ‘Napster, Friendster, Twitter. They all have the “-er” ending in common. I wonder where they got it from? *cough* Weezer *cough*.’ / ‘I guess devil-worshippers also believe in God, right?’
Ladies, Gentlemen, Undecided – that’s all just from last month! Some girls are bigger than others, some humans more entertaining than network television.
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