Friday, October 9, 2009

are the dead still alive?

Can the dead visit you in your dreams?

I can’t shake this dream I had a couple nights ago about my grandmother. I was in this house [which is/was her house, now handed over to my dad after she passed, almost a year ago] and I walked into the kitchen to see my grandmother standing at the sink. Her back was turned to me, but she heard me come in and turned around, ‘looking’ at me. I say ‘looking’ because in the dream, she appeared blind. Her eyes had a milky haze and couldn’t focus on what she was trying to look at. [She had good vision, however, right before she died, her eyesight faded away.] It was a bit eerie, and I remember thinking, “oh please, don’t have those eyes.” In the dream, I was aware of a previous dream I had where her eyes were an indication of her about to attack me. Anyway, she smiled, and was happy I was there. Once I got past the initial scared feeling, I was happy to see her there too. It had been awhile since the last time we saw each other [I will explain this later].

She followed me as I left the kitchen, and I ended up running into some strange, random people in the house. They just kept appearing. My grandmother seemed to know them. I knew they weren’t alive, though — there was something a little bit off about each of them (a tic, a limp, etc). They roamed the house without (apparent) purpose, and kind of followed my grandmother around. Then my father came downstairs from the attic, saw all the people, and seemed surprised. I found him and told him, “Grandma’s here!” He didn’t believe me, as he never did before because he couldn’t see her [I will explain this later]. Only this time… she walked into the room, and he saw her. He had the same scared reaction as me, but hugged her and they were happy to see each other. A few minutes later, he pulled me aside and told me I shouldn’t have “invited everyone here” because all the “spirits will make the house harder to sell.” I tried to explain that I did not invite them, they just appeared… then I woke up.

I explained this dream to a co-worker this morning whilst eating our breakfast.

I also told her about how [this is where I explain from earlier] it’s not the first time my grandmother has been in my dreams. Sometimes I see her two nights in a row, and sometimes I go weeks or months before another appearance. And in each of these appearances, we are happy to see each other. Also, in almost all these appearances, we are in the presence of my family: sitting around, eating at the dinner table, out, wherever. Each time my grandmother is with us, my family seems unable to see her — I am the only one who can see her. I recall one time when I dreamed we were eating dinner as a family, talking. My parents were asking questions aloud about my grandma and I said to them, “But, she’s sitting right there” and gestured to a chair. Their reaction? “What are you talking about? No one’s there.”

My co-worker immediately said, “She doesn’t want you to sell the house.” According to my co-worker, the dead can visit you in your dreams, and since I’m the only person that appears to ’see’ my grandmother in my dreams, she is coming to me and letting me know she doesn’t want the house to be sold. The fact that my dad finally saw my grandmother this time and also mentioned the house being for sale means my grandmother is pressing me to understand why she is appearing. I spent all day thinking about this possibility. I also live across the street from a cemetery, which is where I think some of those extra ‘people’ came from.

I’m leaning towards believing that she is visiting me, but I’m not sure about the message…

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