(These are SCAAC originals – not stolen from Frank J.):
If liberals love socialism so much, why are they still here?
Oh, right. Europe doesn’t have any conservatives to fuel it.
Guns don’t kill people. Except for whatever shoots Bullet Bill.
Avoid pregnancy with Abstinence! 24-hour pregnancy avoidance! No pills, no drugs, no trip to the store! 9-month money-back guarantee!
If Republicans are racist, why does Robert Byrd hate us so much?
And why is Michael Steele our chairman instead of Byrd?
Former Coca-Cola executive Charles Morrison said “I’ll tell you what it takes [to be successful] – being white, that’s what!” only to look in the mirror and shout “What the what?!”
Parents of Democrats must really hate their kids. What kind of middle name is Hussein? Or Rodham?
Though I gotta admit that “Herbert-Walker” isn’t the best name, either.
If Texas secedes and a war starts, where is the US going to get the troops who will fire on Texans?
Is it too late to deny statehood to California?
How about Hawaii?
Let’s see your birth certificate now, Mr. Obama!
If at first you don’t succeed, vote for a liberal.
I always felt weird saying “they” in Jesus Loves Me when I was a kid. I was a “little child” and I fell under “red or yellow; black or white.” It’s like taking self-reference lessons from Dobby.
I read something on Facebook saying Swift will be hosting SNL. It confirmed that she will be doing a musical performance. In other news, water is wet!
Not that I’m complaining, but I haven’t seen a whole heck of a lot of “change” since January.
And I already had “hope” – in the real Messiah.
Jesus loves me, this I know Obama hates me, this I know…
When Life gives you lemons, save them and squirt lemon juice in the Grim Reaper’s eye. Tell him Life told you to do it. Then, he’ll go pick a fight with Life and forget that you were supposed to die.
A bird in the hand will try to peck you. Those two in the bush probably won’t.
When was the last time you actually heard of someone hunting birds with stones? And has anyone ever actually gotten two birds with one stone?
“Try or try not. There is no do. Do. Doo-doo. Hehehe.” -Drunk Yoda
Try saying this five times fast: A Tweeter tweeted more tweets than Tweety taught he twought.
No comments:
Post a Comment