Monday, September 28, 2009

I need $3,500 or I'm going to be murdered :(

I just received a death threat by email which is SO hard to believe because I’m SUCH a sweetheart. But, according to an email that I received a few minutes ago, I have so offended some unknown yahoo that he wants $3,500 to buy my life. Otherwise, he will be killing me:

Look here you bastard. You think i have time for this your stupid talk, i justinform you that some one paid me to kill you and you arehere talking no sence to me. this is like the same warning pass on to theamerica government when they ignore it and it became and ignorance tothem, and this is the same warning also pass to the most polular MUSICIAN WHOWAS SHORT DEAD IN SOUTH AFRICA. am also passing thiswarning to you so if you want to ignore it then you too will face in hell andjoin the devil.

If you do not comply and cooperate with me in your reply to this email, youwill leave me no option as to instruct my Boys to get you shot, for yourinformations you are to Pay the sum of $3,500 Usd to live your life as a freeCitizen, but if you ignore…. As a matter of fact the person whom insructed meto get you killed is waiting for your Funeral news.

http://www.fbi.gov/terrorinfo/top.htmhttp://www.historycommons.org/entity.jsp?entity=noordin_mohammed_top_1

Noordin Mohammed.

hm0384@hotmail.com

ce.0541732@ac-nancy-metz.fr

I don’t know who that is, what his beef is or why he wants me to be dead…but I think I can guess. My guess is that this insane loser is trying to get $3500 but unfortunately for him…not to mention me…I don’t have anywhere near that much cash. And…I just gave away most of my stuff so all I can offer this fool not to kill me is about two hundred bucks, some used make-up and a bunch of Happy Meal Toys that I had been collecting for my grandkids. I just bought Payton a new leash but if the nutcase wants it, he’ll have to take it away from the dog himself, I’m not doing it.

It never occurred to me to threaten murder to get cash. I’ve thought up some rather unorthodox methods of cash raising but extortion by email wasn’t ever on the list.

It does seem easy enough, I must say…just send an email explaining how much cash you’re getting paid to kill your victim and if they send the cash, you don’t have to do a thing except spend it. While I admit that there are a LOT of stupid people on this planet, I kind of doubt that there are THAT many stupid people. I’m sure there aren’t enough stupid people with enough cash to make a career in extortion very profitable. But, if there are any success stories out there, I’d be interested in hearing about them, just leave your story in the comments below this post.

Personally, I would leave out the part about sending people to “hell and join the devil”. I don’t believe in the devil and if there’s a hell, I’m of the mind that I’d “rather laugh with the sinners than cry with the saints”. Also, I’d probably throw in a bit about torture. If the point is to get the money, you night as well scare the tar out of the fools and threaten to flay your victims. Flaying should frighten most people, Muslim, Christian or Jew…being skinned alive just SOUNDS painful.

Well, I’m wide awake but it’s 12:30 so I should act like it’s really, really late at night.

See ya!!!

(I hope!)

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